29 and Feelin' Fine!

The beginning of this year’s Lenten season happened to fall on my birthday again this year. Not always fun in terms of celebrating, but it was a great day to take time for reflection. I realized I did not have something specific I wanted to give up this year. In 2021, I’ve really tried to refocus on my faith life and if I can continue with that throughout the Lenten season, I’ll figure out what else I need to do. This year it might be finding ways to donate, I used to give my time for religious education but with how life is right now, that’s not happening but it doesn’t mean there’s not some other way to give back.

It's no secret that I’ve been super stressed lately. The thing about stress is it brings out the qualities about oneself that may not be your favorite. In general, I’m an over-talker, but when I’m stressed it becomes even worse. I’ll share any and everything and I don’t care if it’s in a positive or negative way. Now I have someone I need to model for. Yes, he’s currently only 9 months, and he may be back with his parents before he begins to repeat or mimic what I say and do – but that doesn’t mean there won’t be other children in my home. I need to find a healthy, and mindful way to manage my stress. I need to make sure that the kids in my home see the stress as a thing – I don’t want to pretend it's not, but I do want to honestly show the best ways to try and manage stress.

9 months means he's 100% on the move

Stressors:

• Early intervention evaluation: going through the process as a parent, verse being on the team was an entirely new experience. It's so much information shared in such a short meeting that it’s hard to keep track of everything. I will receive paperwork, but it takes time to type everything up after observation, and I understand that, but it had my head spinning.

• Doctors appointments: We have so many and they are all in different locations and happen to end up in the same week. When I scheduled them individually I didn’t even catch on until I filled out my February calendar and was like OH MAN!

• IEPs: It’s challenging to be student-centered when I’ve seen the students in person only a handful of times. We are also not supposed to take COVID into consideration when planning goals, but how don’t we? It’s part of life right now. Also, parent input has been heartbreaking this year.

• Classroom changes: When doesn’t moving classrooms cause stress? Especially multiple times in a year?

I also told myself that going into 29, I want to be more positive…LOL the next two days were a disaster in my classroom which made positivity VERY challenging. Let us be real, I wasn’t! I was FRUSTRATED! It’s not always possible to be positive in every situation, but I’m not changing my goal. I vented (to MANY people) and now I’m leaving it behind me. When I go to work tomorrow, I’m going to set up my new classroom, prep, and plan to transition fully in person and do it to the best teaching ability I can. I know I’ll have more challenging days, but I want to process those emotions and then leave them behind because most of those emotions aren’t worth carrying over into my next day or week.

Birthday snuggles with Jovie!

The combo of Ash Wednesday and my birthday falls in line due to the calendar, but this year I appreciate it more than I thought. I love that I’m growing and changing as an individual and I hope this Lenten season allows me to show mister man ways to lean towards faith in times of joy and struggle. He’s only been to church a few times. Between every changing naps and the unknowns of how he’s feeling it's challenging to stick to our reservation. That’s something when it’s nicer out, I will work to be better at but right now at home mass for me while he naps are working just fine. I did just order some children’s bible stories to introduce him to.

Just looking at him nap is a positive for the day!

Finding the Positives:

1. Mister man is up to date on all doctors’ appointments, vaccines, evaluations, etc.

2. Mister man is a healthy height and weight.

3. Mister man continues to sleep so well, this is a positive for us both.

4. We start mama and me swim lessons tomorrow.

5. My new classroom allows adequate space for staff and students to all safely be back in the classroom.

6. I’m starting to save and create a timeline/plan for the basement.

7. I was/am truly happy with life as I begin 29, I can’t believe this is the first year I’ve recognized that.

8. I receive my second dose of the vaccine in a few weeks.

9. Mister man has been having successful visits with his parents.

10. Mister man’s CW shared it was very notable how much we’ve bonded!

I know there are plenty more but listing 10 was the perfect place to start. I have a wonderful village that is always willing to support and help if I need it. As are hopefully heading towards spring, I know that getting outside more, going to the park, and creating weekend routines will help with the positives. I also am getting better at learning what I have control over, and what I don’t which is a big area I struggle with. Taking the time to make lists, accomplish what I can, and feeling happy with myself in regard to those areas is also very necessary. Can’t wait to see what this last week of February brings! Crazy that we’re almost to March; 2021 may just fly by.