My Call

6 years ago I met this beautiful soul. I took my year after college graduation to teach in Juticalpa located in the Olancho district of Honduras. As a 22 year old I thought of it as a great adventure for a year; little did I know I would find a second passion and calling while I was there.

All things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

My first passion is my job. I truly am someone who is lucky to love going to work everyday - even in this crazy year of 2020. Like most jobs it has its stressors and can give me 100 different emotions within a lesson, but I love it. I love being an advocate for my students and their families. I love talking about inclusion and bringing awareness to all the differences my students have. I love talking about all the things they do OH so well! I also have stories that involve poop getting thrown at my head, yes, that scar is from a bite mark, the time I had a kiddo throw up right on my chest - but that's what makes my job so wonderful. There are different aspects to it. That's what kids are, an unknown adventure.

My second passion took a bit longer to realize - even a few years after being in Honduras. Looking back it's clear to me that God was sowing the seeds. The idea was not growing in my mind yet, but going to the orphanage every day opened my eyes and mind to how many kids in the world need love, support, guidance, and structure. I loved every day I was with the kids and found two connections I will treasure forever. One with a 10 year old boy, whom I tutored after school and the second a 3 month old baby girl who I snuggled and shared some love with. Both of these people are still a constant in my life today! I have a frame of the three of us to remind me that even though I'm not physically with them anymore we still have a connection. Thank you technology for allowing me to see them and speak with them a few times a year!

When I came home from Honduras my family joked, we thought you'd come home with a kid. Then we opened the discussion of if I would be willing to adopt the baby girl I had become attached too, why it wasn't possible, looking into the process, inquiring, learning it was not possible, etc. This went on for a few year and then it was fully confirmed that it would not be possible for me to adopt her. I was upset, but understood after some time that maybe that was what was best. She can remain in 'Hogar' with her non-biological family, in the country she was born, and she's being watched over by the sisters there, as well as my other connection who is now 15!

After learning it was not possible, I let the idea of adopting remain with me - thinking 'when I'm married with kids of course we will adopt'! Well as life passed me by I've found myself seeking, learning, and growing in many different types of relationships: romantic, friendship, family, co-workers, and spiritual. I became comfortable being single. I sought out what I can do to help the world, especially within my own little area. I started to consider becoming a foster parent.

Being a foster parent is a different role in a child's life. I'm not: a biological parent, an adoptive parent, an aunt or uncle, a favorite teacher, etc. I am a caregiver to a child in need, but also an emotional mentor. Well that's what I feel I've learned through my classes anyway. I know I have the emotional, physical, and mental state to take on this next stage of life. I am thankful to have a support system that encourages me as well. That's not to say I haven't had people question me when I share this the decision and path I'm called to take. I expect more questions as this is shared more openly and I officially (God willing) become licensed and begin to welcome children into my home.

I realized this was my next passion within the past 9 months. I had the house, dog, job, and still wasn't feeling fulfilled. I was in a relationship at the time and realized I wanted to be a parent of some kind. I knew I wasn't about to get married and have kids anytime soon, but I knew in my heart I was called to be a parent. I love advocating and being that cheerleader for my students so I realized I could do this in a parent type of way. Becoming a foster parent became the clear next step in life. Once I started to research, I couldn't stop! Helping a child who needs it is never the wrong answer in life. I knew I could become passionate about this.

Fingers crossed, I become a licensed foster parent and am able to help and support many children in life. But, if that's not the way things turn out, I'll have to grieve and accept what is. I won't lose my passion though. At this point I've learned so much about the child care system that I am unable to be ignore it. This is my second passion! I plan to help and support children in whatever capacity I am able. I pray I get licensed and can help within my home, all while advocating for these kiddos.

I do ask those I've shared this with to do me a favor. Please pray for me, especially this next week. I'm a week away from the interview and I've become more anxious than I would like to admit. I'm nervous about the process; not about becoming a foster parent. The concept of denial is SCARY! Please pray for the children in the system, the system itself, the parents - biological, foster, and adoptive, and I ask you pray for my peace of mind and help me see my strengths as I complete this next step.